1/16/2007

"24" Microreview and Megaspoiler

The archvillain's name translates to "gym class" in the American vernacular. That doesn't seem very scary. Something like "A.P. Calculus" would have been much more frightening. The only logical reasoning for this illogical nomenclature is that it's actually a bit of foreshadowing.

My guess is that the climax of the season will take place aboard Air Force One, where President Palmer - in a desperate attempt to prevent further American bloodshed - is personally serving mimosas to Fayed while the villain's henchmen put the finishing touches on a 50 megaton nuclear device they will be detonating at LaGuardia. Jack Bauer, having commandeered Burt Rutan's Airship One, skydives from 65,000 feet in order to intercept AF1 at its 35,000 ft cruising altitude. He smashes through the cockpit window, incapacitating the terrorist flight crew, barrel rolls through the cockpit door and leaps to his feet brandishing a 10" rubber playground ball, which he hurls at Fayed with such velocity that it snaps the villain's neck! The ball then ricochets into the bomb control mechanism, smashing it to bits. Jack catches the ball, opens a hatch, and jumps out of the plane. As he exits, Jack fires the ball at the fuselage, causing the center fuel pump to spark, igniting a central tank fire which sends the whole plane up in a fireball as Jack floats to safety.

Or something like that...



posted by Mike at 12:18 PM


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