A Bit of Friendly Advice

Here are a few words I was going to say to someone I care for, but before I do I thought I should internalize them myself:
You are a person who jealously guards your own council. This is both a wonderful strength and a terrible weakness. A strength because it can prevent you from being duped or cheated; from having your heart broken. A weakness because it can prevent you from accepting gifts of wisdom outside your own experience; from opening your heart to wonders you've never imagined. I offer you these words from my heart, without condition or expectation of what you will do with them:

No one has ever truly benefited from self-pity. It is a prison of one's own making that may provide the illusion of emotional relief, but which really shackles you more than you can imagine. (And because you take no council of others, no one can show you what harm it is doing).

No one has ever truly benefited from a scarcity mentality. Yes, you may gain from a sale while spreading the fear, but in the end the net effect is a geometric growth in fear, both external and internal. The former is dangerous; the latter a self-booked trip to Hell.

Where is Mary Poppins when you need a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down?

posted by Mike at 8:29 PM


Blogger "ME" Liz Strauss said...

Whenever I am the center of the universe I think all of the planets revolve around me. I lose all perspective. I don't have any sense of what other things are about because I can only see my own point of view. But the sadness part is how lonely it gets when I am there, because . . . there is no one with me to talk to.

But what if I leave my place in the center of the universe and I find that where I go is not any better? What if I find where I go it's even worse there?

9:57 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Any better for whom? Leaving your place at the center of the universe requires that you give up that place to someone else (or at least you do something for someone else that temporarily moves you off your perceived center). How does that make THEM feel? More centered, I'd imagine. And more able to reach out to pull you to the US (not ME) center. Off the local optima and more toward the global optimum!

Thank you for that sublime question!

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I was over at Liz's post and got curious about 'the pinch', that's how I ended up here.
Touching - becoming centre of the universe - caring.
We talked about relationships earlier this week on various blogs and I feel 'touched' by all these philisophical thoughts and am inclined to add what my 'mentor' wrote to me this week:
"..And, as you've noticed, I'm sure that, as we mature, we move from being impulsive and judgemental in our formative youth to being quieter, listening and observing, being more thoughtful, and consequently less judgemental - and in being less judgemental we no longer threaten the comfort zones of those with whom we communicate. Put this all together and we find that the more mature we are, the more we can share and help those individuals that need our support (in whatever format that may be)"

I was deeply 'touched' by this.

6:59 AM  
Blogger Mike said...


Thank you for your kind words and insighful comment. Your mentor is spot on: my advice was written by a man in his late 40s to his daughter in her early 20s. But I'll admit I'm still learning myself!



12:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Mike

My mentor likes to be philisophical (like I do, sometimes) and is mostly spot-on. He's a great guy to have around and I've learned so much from him (owe him a lot, but he's very bad at accepting compliments ;-))

He wrote this particular 'insight' after I dropped him an email with a link to one of Liz's other posts: relationships: http://www.successful-blog.com/1/steve-pavlina-and-liz-on-relationships/

3:48 AM  
Blogger Mike said...


Just because someone isn't good at accepting compliments is no reason to ease up on giving them. ;-)

I've been a fan of Steve's since his blog started; he's given me a lot to think about!


8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Just because someone isn't good at accepting compliments is no reason to ease up on giving them. ;-)"

LoL Mike

I'm 'teaching' him to accept gracefully and indeed never ease up on that ;-) (and know deep down in his heart he 'glows')

8:11 AM  

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