If a Tree Falls on a Squatting Bear in the Woods and Nobody's There to See It...

Who does the bear's lawyer go after first?

1. Procter and Gamble?
   
2. Gail Norton?
   
3. Whoopi Goldberg?
   
4. Someone else?
   

Drop your guess/suggestion in the comments section. I'll post my analysis next week.

UPDATE: A lack of comments from anyone outside the lazy eight ranch forces me to refrain from updating this post, except to say that This scenario is not so far fetched! Comment on that if you prefer!