The Terrorists Have Already Won...

Received this message from a colleague [names changed for gratuitous linking opportunity]:

Jon, Mark and I really do appreciate the help you have been providing.

A number of weeks ago you mentioned a particular beer that you liked.

I wrote down the name and headed out to my local beer depot.

No luck.

Went to a larger beer depot. They carry hundreds of beers from all around the world.

No luck.

Decided on Plan B. Purchased 6 bottles of beer from 6 different countries.

Took 'em home and packed them up nicely (and safely).

Took them to my local post office (Menomonee Falls). Found the front door locked with a sign to step around back.

Stepped around the back and found a loading doc. Was told the Post Office moved 4 miles north.

Drove 4 miles north.

Waited in line 15 minutes.

Was told the U.S. postal services does not ship beer.....

Was told to use Brown (UPS). Asked where I could find this magic UPS, was told go 6 miles south.

Went 6 miles south and found the UPS Store.

Left there smiling, feeling confident that Mike would get his beer on the following Monday.

I left town for a few days.

Got back - 2 voices mails from UPS.

They are not allowed, by state law, to ship beer. Wisconsin is one of only two states that have this thoughtful law.

Was told to come and pick them up, or they would toss them (ya right).

Was told I needed to go to the distribution center in Brookfield. OK, I can do that.

Wednesday at 5:30 I get another call from UPS, one of the bottles has broken. Do I still want the beer?

OK - yes I tell them, I want my 5 bottles of beer back.

Tonight, after work, I set out on a new adventure - reclaiming 5 bottles of beer.

Next time your in town, I've got 5 bottles of beer you can stick in your carry-on.....

Like they say - No Good Deed Goes Unpunished....


What is this world coming to, when a man cannot get a six pack of Wisconsin's finest shipped to his door?! Or maybe it's God's way of helping me observe Lent properly...

posted by Mike at 7:45 AM


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Menomonee Falls?!! "Who do ya know... whants to buy a car?"

8:38 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

[wipes coffee off computer screen]

Nice one, Chris! I think Ernie had a Stanley Steamer dealership early on, so that picture on his site is a bit outdated.

And just how does a man from Savannah come to know of EVS?


8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude! I've heard him say it. Been by the dealership many times...

My wife is from Port Washington. Go Pack! :)

It's a running joke in our house. Anytime one of us hears "Menomonee Falls" we automatically automatically shout "who do ya know... wants to buy a car?" and then crack up.

Gorgeous usually goes on into the jingle too, but then she grew up there.

The whole thing is pretty Pavlovian. But we're amused by it.

Glad it got a laugh in your house today too.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Mike said...


I'm going to have to write a post about those kind of associative phrases. I have two friends that I can reduce to tears of laughter simply by saying "Sandy Duesterbeck's lightbulb", and Liz has blogged about her "famous canoe analogy".


1:18 PM  

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